This World Mental Health Day, St Aloysius College encourages open conversations about mental health within our families. To support this, our College Psychologist, Cate Rushan, has adapted an insightful resource from headspace, offering practical tips for starting these important dialogues with young people. By creating a safe space for these conversations, we can help our students feel seen, supported, and resilient in challenging times.
World Mental Health Day is an opportune time to bring awareness to the importance of open conversations about mental health within our families. Family members and friends play a vital role in identifying and supporting young individuals who may be experiencing mental health challenges.
Creating opportunities for young people to open up is one of the most important things parents and carers can do to support their wellbeing. Regularly discussing feelings, daily experiences, and concerns helps young people feel seen and understood, which can significantly enhance their coping abilities. Such dialogues not only demonstrate your interest but also provide a safe space for them to practise articulating their feelings and needs.
However, engaging in these conversations can be challenging. You might feel uncertain about how to start or worry that you might not say the right thing. It’s important to remember that your young person doesn’t need you to have all the answers—they simply need to know you’re there for them.
Recognising the Need for Conversations
Signs to Look For
Being attentive to changes in behaviour can help identify when a conversation about mental health is necessary. Look for signs such as:
- Increased withdrawal or irritability.
- Changes in social interactions or academic performance.
- Disturbances in sleep patterns or appetite.
- Withdrawal from activities that previously brought joy.
Tips for Initiating the Conversation
Creating a Safe Space
Choose the right time and place: A calm and comfortable environment is essential. Try to start the conversation when your young person is rested and calm, rather than in moments of heightened emotions.
Prepare yourself: Before starting a conversation, check in with your own feelings. Ensure that you are calm and ready to listen, and be mindful of your body language and tone to convey openness.
Starting the Dialogue
Be honest and open: Start with gentle observations or questions. You might say something as simple as, “How are things going at school?” or be a little more specific - “I’ve noticed you haven’t been catching up with your friends much lately. Is everything okay?”
Utilise “I” statements: Focus on your feelings and observations rather than placing blame. For instance, you could say, “I feel like you [haven’t been yourself lately/haven’t submitted your last couple of assignments/seem pretty tired a lot of the time]. How are you doing?”.
Activities to Support Conversations
Many young people find it easier to talk while engaging in an activity. This approach alleviates the pressure of maintaining eye contact and helps make pauses and silences feel less awkward. Activities such as cooking together, playing games, engaging in an outdoor activity, or even going for a drive can create a more relaxed atmosphere for conversations to start and flow more organically, rather than feeling like a daunting “big chat”.
Listening and Understanding
Be an active listener: Give your full attention by eliminating distractions. Engage with eye contact and positive body language. Hold space for your young person to express themselves without interruption.
Validate their feelings: Allow them to express themselves without judgement. Acknowledge their emotions, even if you don’t fully understand or relate to their experience.
Encourage ongoing dialogue: After listening, ask open-ended questions to invite further sharing. Phrases like “I want to understand, can you tell me more about that?”, can prompt deeper discussions.
Addressing Safety Concerns
When to Take Action
If you are concerned about your young person’s safety or if self-harm is a possibility, it is crucial to address this directly. Consider these steps:
Express your concerns: Share your worries honestly with them by letting them know that you are concerned about their safety.
Ask direct questions: If you suspect they may be considering self-harm, pose direct questions. It can be difficult, but it is necessary for their safety.
Offer support: Reassure them that you will help them find the resources they need and that they are not alone in their struggles. Ask them what they need from you to feel supported. Some additional resources can be found at the end of this article.
If They Don’t Want Support
Respect Their Autonomy
Sometimes, young people may be reluctant to talk or seek help. This can be frustrating and even overwhelming; however, it is important to respect their boundaries while remaining supportive. Strategies include:
Keep the door open: Let them know you are available whenever they feel ready to talk.
Encourage other connections: Suggest they speak with another trusted adult, like a teacher or counsellor, or utilise helplines.
Be patient: Building trust takes time, and regular check-ins can help maintain open lines of communication.
The Importance of Self-Care
Caring for someone experiencing mental health challenges can take a toll on your own wellbeing. Prioritising your self-care is essential; it enables you to provide better support to your loved one while also modelling healthy coping strategies. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it is vital for your ability to support others.
Additional Resources
For further support and information, consider these Australian resources:
- Headspace: Offers online and phone support for young people. Visit headspace.org.au or call 1800 650 890.
- Beyond Blue: Provides resources and support for mental health issues. Visit beyondblue.org.au or call 1300 224 636.
- Kids Helpline: A free, 24/7 counselling service for young people aged 5-25. Call 1800 55 1800 or visit kidshelpline.com.au.
- Lifeline Australia: Offers crisis support and suicide prevention services. Call 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au.
- Youth Beyond Blue: Specifically geared towards young people, providing mental health information and support. Visit youthbeyondblue.com.
If you need immediate assistance, call 000 or to speak to someone urgently, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.